A Letter To Men. (women are invited to read too)

Tomorrow is the first of April. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, the goal of this month is to raise public awareness of the issue of sexual assault and educate our community on how we can all play a part in prevention. Though it is not unusual, today I was sexually harassed. This is certainly not the first time this has happened and I am almost certain that it will not be the last time. This is a letter to men (and women who can relate), whether you are against sexual harassment/assault or not, please read and understand what I am trying to convey.

To all men,
Today I was at my local library, minding my own business. I asked to use the computer and sat down to print my flyers. The swine beside me, who was 30 years old or so, got up to stand over me and began verbally harassing me. He said things like; So hot! What a sexy woman! Whilst he made questionable noises and let out obnoxious and uncontrolled laughter. I looked at him, to be sure he was addressing these comments towards me, then did the best of my ability to stay calm and go on with my work. His hollow eyes freely scanned up and down my body, grimly. This went on for the entire time I was in his sight. I made eye contact with the other man who was sitting to my left. He didn’t stop to speak up for me but just went on with whatever he was doing. I continued to be harassed until I skimmed through my work and was ready to leave. I felt sickened as I shakily handed my money to the librarian and left as fast as I could. The swine went on shouting harassment at me until I was well out of the door and crossing the street. 

This is a daily occurrence for some women and unfortunately, though not often to this extent, a common occurrence every time I leave my home. Often, it happens within my house, feeling safe behind screens, men beg for images of my body or send unsolicited images. Walking on the street, wolf whistles and catcalls come from men older than my dad and boys younger than my little brothers. To name a few, I have been touched inappropriately by my brother’s friend, stalked by a pedophile at a camp as a tween and given sleazy looks by men of all ages in supermarkets. This is not okay. This is not acceptable. 

I, and probably all women, do not feel safe in the company of you. If you are not the type of man to behave in the ways I have mentioned, you are probably taken aback by that statement so let me clarify. Women are always on guard to protect themselves against something they have experienced in the past or something their family or friends has experienced. We do not know if, you, the guy walking behind us, is the type of guy that will assault or harass us. If could be any of yous’. It’s scary and uncomfortable to exist socially. Being a woman in today’s society is scary. 

So, you don’t wolf whistle, catcall or behave inappropriately towards women? What can you do to help combat this very serious issue in society? 

  • Defend us 

Let’s go back to the man in the library who didn’t say a thing in my defence. If you witness anything like I experienced today, please speak up! Honestly, that would have made me feel a lot less at risk if he would have spoken up against this harassment.

  • Don’t validate a harassers behavior

You most likely wouldn’t be friends with a serial killer because you (hopefully) don’t agree with what they do. By being friends with them you would be confirming to yourself that their behavior is ‘okay’. The same goes for harassers. Of course, I don’t want you to cut off all of your friendships but please stand up for what is right and don’t continue to acquaint yourself with people who are constantly behaving in such a way. Be sure to tell them why you deserve friends of higher class.

  • Don’t make women feel uncomfortable

This is an obvious one. Do not demand inappropriate request from strangers over the internet. Do not wolf whistle, catcall or give inappropriate compliments, etc.

  • Spread Awareness

Share this post, write your own and have open discussions among your friends and family about such matters.


If you are still reading, you are amazing! Thank you so much for your time I hope you learnt a lesson or two from this little awareness spreader.

I would also like to strongly emphasize that, although it is not so common, men are also sexually harassed whether while they are children or as an adult. We need to raise awareness to sexual harassment and assault issues with both women and men in mind. This letter was specifically tapered towards the harassment afflicted on women by men.

The comments will be open as a safe space for anyone who would like to share their experiences with harassment or assault. What is your best advice that we can pass on to quality men so that women can gain a feeling of safety in their communities? Men, how do you react when you witness such harassment?

I love you all so so much! Thank you so much for reading! xx

– Jasmine Rose

69 thoughts on “A Letter To Men. (women are invited to read too)”

        1. Thank you… her health had been declining for long enough that I felt prepared for this possibility for a while, so I’m doing okay. It’ll hit me next time I go visit my family and she’s not there…

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  1. Hi Jasmine!
    I’m so so sorry about what happened to you. I really would have stood for you and punched those men on their face if I were with you. Your doing such a good deed by spreading awareness about something so serious. It is so true that women are not safe in today’s world! Once, I saw an interview or something like that, where some men said that women should not be outside at night, or they should not wear certain kinds of clothes. Like, how can they even say that? I don’t understand why men like these try to put restrictions on us and don’t anything to prevent sexual harrasment. Thank you so much for writing this post, Jasmine! All the girls reading this, please stay strong raise your voice so that we can end this! Wishing you all good luck!πŸ’–

    P.S. Can I reblog this post? I want to share this message on my blog too, but only with your permission.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Roshni!
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment with such kindness! I would appreciate it SO much if you were to reblog this! Spreading awareness is so important!
      Ahaha, I would have loved to tell him off and I was so close to doing so. But you just never know if they have a knife or something…
      I know right! According to an interview I watched once, perverts prefer modest clothing because it “leaves more for the imagination”. So anyone saying we should dress more modestly to avoid harassment are literally wasting their words and getting on everyone’s nerves. It has nothing to do with what we are wearing but more to do with the perverts. I love the quote from Anne with An E that says; “A dress is not an invitation!”

      Stay strong yourself, dear Roshni! xx
      🀎🀎

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome, Jasmine!!
        Ohh, yes! They might have…
        I agree with what you said there, they are wasting their words. That quote is really good and people should understand it!

        πŸ˜ŠπŸ’–

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Jasmine, I’m so sorry this happened to you. This kind of behavior is absolutely disgusting and I’m all for stopping it. I hope everyone who sees this decides to step in when they see this happen and hopefully we can get rid of behavior like this completely.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow… what a jerk. Thanks for speaking up.

    Most of my experience with this kind of thing involves being called gay (or more vulgar variations thereof) by people who have to make assumptions about, and bully, anyone who is different.

    Liked by 2 people

          1. It’s usually young male punk or thug types who obsess over calling me gay, or at least wanting to know if I am… next time that happens, I want to say, “Why do you care if I’m gay? You’re too young for me anyway.” That would probably get me in worse trouble, though, because with the way people are around here, then I would get in trouble for sexual harassment…

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Thugs and punks are thug and punks because they are trying (and failing) to prove their “masculinity”. They are the most insecure type and yet they harass other people about it! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ Yes! I love that response! Oh my, that’s not sexual harassment! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ I will try to think up some other good ones! πŸ˜‚

              Liked by 1 person

  3. Jasmine I am sorry to hear about what happened to you! I am glad you are trying to spread awareness! I myself have not experienced this that I know off(which I am grateful for), but I have heard so many stories from other girls who have, which is really sad. Also about the modesty thing, that’s a compete joke. It doesn’t matter what someone is wearing in a situation like this, the only thing that matters is the gross person who is being a perv.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Dreamer! It makes my heart so grateful to know that you have not experienced anything like this!! I wish everyone could say that!
      I know right! I, for instance, was wearing a modest ankle-length dress! It makes no difference at all! A pervert is a pervert not matter what we wear.πŸ˜’
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I hope you are doing well! 🀎 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, Jazz!! I’m so sorry about what happened! You are so beautiful, but no one should see that beauty and objectify and harass you or anyone else. This is such a touchy issue, and I’m glad you’re speaking up for it in kindness and by sharing your experiences! May YHVH be with you!! (I had no idea that harassment of this sort was common, in everyday life. It sounds a lot more prevalent than I’ve ever known.)

    Like

  5. That is horrible!!! Thank you for speaking up about this. This post really got my blood boiling, especially over the part with the other man who did nothing!!!! I frightens me to go anywhere by myself these days because of the things that happen to so many girls!!! Piece of advice, take your dad with you when you can, or one of your older brothers! Always works for me. They don’t dare come near you when one of them is near. I wish I could give you advice on how to fend off these kinda people in the first place, by yourself, for we all know we won’t always have a male ready to defend us in our lives, but unfortunately I can’t. Stay safe! xoxo

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  6. Horrific 😰😰😰😟😟😟😟
    I am sorry for whatever happened!!!! Hope you are doing well❀❀❀
    I don’t know when will these scums will learn their lesson!!!!

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  7. Aw I hate that you had to go through that, Jasmine. I’ve had similar experiences as well and I so appreciate you sharing your story to raise awareness. This is something that really needs to be taken care of. You’ve inspired me to do something about it tooπŸ‘πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jasmine,
    i am so sorry you had to experience that. this post made me so angry at that man. i hope you are doing okay. this is really so annoying that that man did that. what a jerk.
    have a fabulous day!
    *hugs*

    meg

    Like

        1. Of course. Men should know their way to treat a woman. The way that guy treated Jasmine was really savage. We should spread this post all over social media if we can. and I’ll do anything to do that.

          Liked by 2 people

  9. Ugh. How horrible.
    I hope you’re feeling better- things like this are terrible and leave people shaking for w e e k s.
    And the worst part is just not knowing… Will they move closer? Get bored of you, and turn away? Catch you, touch you, hurt you? Will things escalate?
    It’s sickening that we even have to think about things like this. Women- and anyone, actually- should be able to walk around freaking naked with nobody looking twice their way.
    Well, all I can say is that I hope that idiot got what he deserves. What a disgusting man.
    stay sticky,
    [pbs}

    Like

  10. I am SO sorry that happened, you okay? *Hugs (if you accept that over the screen)*

    Over the past three months, I’ve been receiving several requests from men AND women to join them in their kinks and sexual roleplay, one woman even offered to pay me $3000 to sleep with her boyfriend. Another guy wanted me to dominate him and him be my servant, and when I told him no that I don’t do that and that I have a boyfriend, he was like “Who cares that you have a boyfriend? I don’t want to be your boyfriend, just your servant”!!!!!!! It’s sickening!!!

    Like

  11. I’m so sorry, and I feel bad about what happened to you. Our society today is rottened to the core and things like this keep happening everyday.
    I’ll do my best to support, protect and defend any woman I see been harassed.
    I’ll also share your article to make more people aware and informed, and also support the movement in the fight against harassment.
    Stay strong my dear, God be with you.β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

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  12. Hey, Jasmine. This is awful. No one should have to go through this, and I’m so terribly sorry you’ve had to. Unfortunately, people like this do exist in the world, and all you can do is speak up and report them. Always tell someone you trust about this.
    Have a good day! I hope this won’t happen to you again.
    πŸ’™ ~Ray

    Liked by 1 person

  13. It must have felt traumatic to go through this countless times. I am really sorry to hear that. You are right, the only way forward is through awareness and you are setting the stage for others and leading by example. More power to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU. SORRY FOR EVERY WOMAN OR GIRL WHO EXPERIENCES THE SAME THING. THIS HAS ALOT TO DO WOTH HOW FAMILY BEHAVE THEIR CHILDREN AT THE EARLY AGE. SCHOOLS SHOULD ALSO TAKE THEIR SHARE IN MAKING THIS KIND OF ACTIONS AS AN UN-ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOURS.
    AS A YOUNG BOY, I REMEMBER BEING BROUGHT UP WITH A FAMILY OF STRONG ETHICAL RULES BASED ON THE TEACHINGS OF ISLAM.
    Islam teaches us that we should lower our gaze when we encounter a woman or a girl who is not your family or not married to. HARRASSING IS SOMETHING STRICTLY HARAM THAT EVEN IF THE PERSON IS NOT PUNISHED IN THIS WORLD HE/SHE WOULD BE PUNISHED IN THE HEREAFTER. A PERSON WHO BELIEVES THIS WILL NEVER HARRASS ANY OTHER PERSON.

    THE PERSON’S FIRST POLICE IS HIS/HER CONSCIENCE. AND THIS POLICE SHOULD BE TRAINED AT THE EARLY YEARS OF CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE.

    Thank you for sharing this important awareness.

    Like

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